In pretending to be a man in love, he became a man in love.

You know what I've done today? Next to nothing. I had a day to myself. I watched a few movies, moved my room around again, painted my toenails, and thought. thought a lot.

Last night as I drunkenly lay on my gay boyfriend's floor as he played his music for me, I decided I'm just a sucker for emotional torture. Would I like the Beast if I could actually have him? Would I have fallen for the new guy if he hadn't left for 3 weeks two days after we met?

I don't know. Maybe it's just another emo day this week. Maybe I should just stop watching romance movies. Maybe I should skip hanging out with the Beast tonight and give myself a chance to reflect. I don't know. Maybe I should see him. Gah. After the night we had the other night... I don't even know. I'm so much more confused than I was before. And yet the new guy hasn't left my mind for long since meeting, and he's literally on the other side of the world for 3 weeks. Ugh.

Feelings=confusing.