eep!

I've been debating on what my role within the fetish community will be upon my completion of my college education. It has been a difficult debate because I love the lifestyle, but I resent people who try to get everything for free. I've made so many interesting acquaintances doing what I do as a webcam girl and fetish model, but few of these people are ones I'd want to actually spend time with. The money is a wonderful plus, but the ends does not justify the means anymore. I've been stressed trying to finish school and working this job that pays me well enough that I don't need to webcam anymore, but the truth is, I have fun. I enjoy chatting with people and making some money here and there. But, I'm not longer making enough money to cover the entirety of the rent at my house. There were several months where I was bringing in enough to cover the entire rent, and that hasn't happened since October. I know I've been slacking pretty hardcore. I haven't done live chats in ages, and that's always been my biggest money maker.

I didn't book a room at FetishCon yet because I just don't know where my life will be then. By then, I'll have gotten another promotion and will be making at least double what I'm making now annually. I've been considering switching to the strictly producer side of things and giving up as a webcam girl. From what I hear from friends who do it, the money is better and it wouldn't hurt to have extra money on the side to do something fun like take a 2 week long adventure touring Germany or Italy or somewhere in South America.

So yes. My higher education is almost done. This semester ends May 2nd, and then my 6 weeks of hell starts May 16th or 18th. I'll be taking my last two classes over a six week period of what will surely be hell. Four nights of class a week, three hours a night. GAH. There is no way I'm having a social life in May and June.

I'm in a bit of a pickle currently. I have a crush on someone who I'm business partnered up with on a contractual basis. Like, written contract business partner. Do you know how difficult this is?! More importantly, do you know how annoying it is?! ughhhh