etiquette, and the lack thereof

Etiquette has never really been a problem for me. That was, until I joined Facebook. Facebook has proven to be full of socially awkward losers who think that it is ok to email me more than once before getting a response from me and people who think they're privileged enough to get things from me for free. It isn't just that, but we're going to start there for Sydney Scream's Lesson in Internet Etiquette. Guys, you may want to take notes because chances are, you fall into one of these categories/annoying behaviors.

1. Emailing someone multiple times before getting a response. Do not do this. Especially do not do this if you're opening multiple email/message threads on facebook. I am one person. I do not have an agent or friend helping me read and answer emails. I answer them. I read them. So when you feel that it is necessary to write me one message that says "Do you have msn?" and then ANOTHER message all of 60 seconds later asking me for my msn (which I do not have), stop and think. THINK people. It isn't rocket science. Seriously, if I did have msn, wouldn't it be a logical response to your first question for me to tell you my info? Yea. It would be. So to send me a completely redundant email is not only 1-annoying as hell but 2-unnecessary by all standards.

2. Asking for free pictures/webcam sessions/etc. I do not give away freebies to people I do not know and love. What does that mean? Well, take my myspace friendship with G. G and I send emails back and forth. We talk. We're friends. So as a friend, do I send him pictures of me that normally others would have to pay for? Yea. I do. He's seen my tits for free. He's seen my feet for free. He sends me pictures of lovely ladies in exchange, but even if he didn't, he treats me like a human being. On top of which, freebies do not really exist in this world. You would like to think they exist because of things like "Buy one get one free!" but really, you had to BUY something to GET something FREE. In case you haven't noticed, this is not just about having fun for me. Yea, I have a lot of fun doing what I do, however this is also my job. So if you have not treated me like a real human being/friend and then ask me for free things, of course I'm going to be a bitch because you're pathetic and obviously do not deserve to get anything from me. Besides, there is enough naked Sydney on the web for free or for a small fee to pay that you should just do your research rather than wasting my time.

3. Like OMG! You have my screenname! Holy shit! What now?? I am not online all the time. And when I am, that does not mean you can expect me to want to devote all of my attention to you, unless you happen to be a paying customer. Having my screenname is a privilege, not a right. I have a life. I have friends. I go to school. I do not want to spend my life sitting in front of a computer talking to ugly losers who can't meet girls in real life (side note, no you may not meet me in real life, unless again you are a paying customer whose booked a session).

4. No, I do not want to be your girlfriend, nor do I want to marry you. Stop asking. You'll never have me. And I already know that if at the time I do have a boyfriend, he is the luckiest guy on the face of the planet, but thanks for the reminder.

5. If your memory is too poor to remember that you've emailed me that question more than once, stop while you're ahead. Do not email me the exact same question more than once. If I do not answer you, it's because your question is either rude, offensive, inappropriate, unnecessary, or plain and simple, I do not want to answer it. Emailing the same question multiple times is more likely to get you a rude, cruel hearted reply, to which you will inevitably reply something along the lines of "fine, you stupid ugly slut. go make XXX videos with some ugly fat dudes for $1/minute on clips4sale because you aren't hot enough to make it in the porn world." To which, you will not get a reply because I do not do X or XXX rated things. And because I have standards with the men I sleep with and none of them are fat and ugly.

6. Can you send me videos of you getting off? No. There is one person in the whole world who has videos of me doing that. And he's special. On top of which, I wouldn't send them to you for free to begin with. Why? Please refer to #2 for your answer.

7. So, you booked a session. Now what? I don't fuck clients. I kick them in the balls, shove my feet in their faces, yell at them, degrade them, humiliate them, trample them, make them suck on my toes, tickle them, etc. I will not touch your man junk unless I'm kicking it. And you will not touch my boobs, ass or vag unless you want me to take the rest of the money you owe me, and leave without the rest of your session continuing, but only after a swift kick in the balls/ass and a punch in the gut/face or a nice spray of mace all up in your face.

I may continue this list later, but for now, this will do. :)