In case you haven't caught on yet, I'm the kind of gal who likes to date, a lot. I'm not quite sure how I got to the point of being a serial dater, but that seems to be where I am at in my life at the moment. But, I get the feeling that people expect something else from me. You see, I'm not looking to give my heart away (if I'm even capable of that), but I'm looking for more than a slew of bed partners. Ok, now that I've worded it that way even I'm confused as to what I want. Welcome to the mind of a female (unluckily for me, I live here). I've been told several times by my friends that my expectations for lovers/significant others is probably a bit high and therefore I'm probably going to get let down often. I'm ok with that. As a serial dater though, I have come up with somethings that I expect from people in general, especially those hoping to extend a date into multiple dates or hop in my bed.
1-Be honest. Nothing is more of a turn of than lack of honesty. Seriously, I'm probably one of the most laid back and chill people you will ever meet, but if you aren't honest with me for whatever reason, you're not getting to date #2 or my bed (or me in your bed). Ok, it's a hard thing to decipher on a first date, I know. However, there are certain things you should offer up off the bat such as relationship status (yes, I've slept with people in relationships and married guys, hell...I may even do it again), STDs (ok, so, I probably don't want to sleep with you if my health is put in danger but, I'll admire you for being up front), children (I hate children, but I know people who have them and have dated people with them), you also happen to be a serial dater (hey cool! maybe we can compare notes!), you're a virgin (No, I'm not going to take that from you), etc.
2-Be at least somewhat intelligent, or at least pretend to be. Intelligence is sexy. That is all.
3-Dress for the occasion. Going out for dinner? Wear something schnazy. Hiking? dress for the weather and for walking. The beach? Probably a bad time to wear a tie (ew, weird tan line...). Please note, my personal favorites for males to wear include ties, nice shoes, black pants, jeans that fit properly, etc. For ladies, dresses, heels, pantyhose, shorts (I love a gal in shorts...), tank tops, etc.
4-Make me laugh. I'm a giggler, so this is a lot easier than you think.
5-Don't agree with everything I say if you don't actually agree. Just please, don't talk politics, religion, past relationships (dates and lovers are different from relationships. I probably don't want to hear about your lovers either), children or marriage on the first date.
6-Do not spend the entire time talking to me about sex. Not sexy. Not going to get you into my bed (or me into yours). Obviously, I like sex, but I don't want to talk about it all the fucking time.
7-Actually listen. Don't pretend. I can tell the difference between the two, and I'll return the favor. ;)
8-Please have good personal hygiene.
9-Please have not dated any of my friends. The only time this happens to be ok is said friend hooked the two of us up. Otherwise, not ok.
10-Please do not tell me about your hard on or your wet pussy. I get enough of that on the web to suffice for multiple lifetimes.
Since I think I may have run out of things at the moment, 10 will do for this list. Hooray!
However, also on the dating front, I've decided I am tired of pursuing. I want to be pursued. I want someone to want me. To call me. To text me. Not to the point of being annoying, but to the point of showing that you're interested. Not sure if you're texting me too much? Well...do I respond right away? If yes, this is a good sign. If no, bad sign...you should probably lay off a bit. I know this is a difficult ground to know what is enough and what is too much/not enough. Go with what you feel is right. If you feel like you're texting too much, you probably are. But anyway. Pursuing. I've done the game where I go out of my way for a date. I'm tired of that game. I don't like playing hard to get on either fronts. It's not natural or fun. Ok, well, it's kind of fun if I'm the one playing hard to get, but then people give up. And where's the fun in that?
I'm tired of being the one making the phone calls, sending the first texts, being the aggressor. If I had it my way, it'd be an equal split between who does the calling, texting, making first move, etc. Mainly because I don't really think that males are particularly better than females, nor are females particularly better than males. I'm an equal opportunity lover.
And that's that for this evening folks.
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