forever the hopeless romantic

Years of on and off dating the ex-security guard and I'm still as head over heels for him now as I was when I was... well. however old I was. And you know what? It will never be a serious thing. Ever. Especially now. Now when there was a tiny sliver of hope? There is none. The Florida region of the company he works for is closing. He's talking of the possiblity of relocating to NYC, Texas, Cayman Islands... ugh. The minute I go in for what chance I have, it's already shot to shit. Nothing is certain but for the line of work he does, there aren't any firms in Florida after the one he works for closes. There are possibilities of doing the same work within another financial company but not an entire company that does just whatever it is that he does.

I had the family's dog at the house for a week or so while my folks were at the beach. And now that my dog is back with them...my house feels really empty. I miss my dog. I think I miss her more than I miss my parents. She'd follow me and the roommies around everywhere and it was so cute.

I think maybe the truth is that I'm kinda lonely here. One roommie is either always asleep, at work, or at the club, and the other roommie is so closed off that it makes wanting to get to know her something that I don't even want to bother with. You can see her judgements on her face and up until Friday night, she was sleeping on the damn couch in the living room and next to never left the couch for any reason. I'm sure that part of it is that I haven't worked for 2 weeks and I just had to take my dog back to my parent's house and now I'm just feeling a bit bored and lonely in the silence of this house.

Mom suggested that I schedule an appointment with my therapist to mediate between my Dad and I. I'm not sure I really want to yet. He really hurt my feelings. I know holding a grudge isn't healthy but I just don't think I'm ready to deal with him yet. bleh.

I think I'm having an emo day.